Shannon McKnight
Professor Sundol
WRC 1013-022
19 February 2013
Working
Mothers vs. Stay-at-home Mothers
In “A Mother’s Day Kiss-Off,” Bennetts states, “Those
responsibilities---and the sacrifices they typically entail---generate a
permanent state of simmering anger in all too many women” (396 par. 3). This
pertains to the resentment in mothers who have had to make sacrifices for their
children, husbands, or jobs. Today, judgments are made towards mothers whether they
are stay-at-home or working. This creates anger and decisions to be made
regarding this status. Housewives are viewed as failures and rare things to see
in today’s day, many people pity and judge them which also accounts for the
decreasing numbers of stay-at-home mothers. According to working mothers,
housewives are rare, failures, and depend on their husband’s income, which
makes them lazy and stupid (Hekker 391 par. 7). However, as stated by Bennetts,
housewifery is a good thing because it is the woman’s job to care for children,
but many housewives give up their jobs for this responsibility which angers
them and makes them resent other mothers and their husband and children (397
par. 13). Despite Bennetts and Hekker’s beliefs on whether a mother should work
or stay at home, they both agree that judgments and challenges help influence a
mother’s decision.
According to Bennetts and Hekker, mothers are torn
between what they want to do and what they need to do based on their economic
and marital status. However, each author has their own personal view on what
comes first based on these statuses. Hekker writes about how people have judged
her for being a housewife and how she was taught to raise her children herself,
however society is condemning this behavior because it is looked down upon to
rely on a man’s paycheck (391, par. 9). This shows Hekker’s point of view on
what should come first in the decision of having a career or not. She strongly
believes that women should put children first and their career on hold. In
addition, Bennett's also has a particular view on this topic by describing the
harsh reality of a mother’s decision to work or stay at home by stating, “If a
breadwinner dies, divorces his wife or becomes unemployed, homemakers often
cannot find decent jobs to support their families” (397 par. 8). This proves
Bennetts point that a mother should prepare for the worst and be able to
provide for her family if an event like this occurs. Full-time housewives do
not have much experience in the workplace, therefore making it more difficult
for them to find jobs that will sustain the life they have been living.
On top of Bennetts and Hekker’s beliefs, I agree with the author's views on housewifery and
how women should raise and take care of their children. In addition, if
your family is in need of financial help then a mother should do what they can
to help their family and try to sustain the life they have been living. I feel
that mothers should acknowledge the fact that certain circumstances require
making sacrifices that can be hard to accept, but must be done. Another point that Bennetts and Hekker have agreed on is
that society has formed their own judgments on whether mothers should stay at
home or work. This is described through Hekker’s story as a mother, having
to make crucial decisions based on her personal life and the opinions of
others. In a passage, Hekker states that there is no way of getting
even for being called stupid or lazy by other mothers (391, par. 7). This is one
way other mothers view housewives, however, it is not how society as an entirety
views them, and this is because everyone has a different opinion on the issue.
Also, in “A Mother’s Day Kiss-Off”, it is said that in today’s culture, full-time mothers are romanticized because it is such a rare thing to be (397, par.
7). This is a very opposite view than what Hekker has experienced. Instead of
condemning housewives, they are praised for their drive and motivation to keep
a tradition going. These two examples show how much the opinions of people
differ in society.
Although everyone has a right to their own opinion,
mothers are the only ones whose opinion and view on the situation really counts.
Their family and self is the only people that will be directly affected by the
decision to either stay at home or work. Therefore no one else’s opinion should
matter or be considered in this predicament. Most women will take up for the
side that they can most relate to however, others hold resentment towards those
that they admire to be like. Acknowledging one’s own circumstances will help
make it easier for a mother to execute what she has decided on and accept it as
well.
Included
in the stories of Bennetts and Hekker are the opinions of mothers and their own
situations that influence their decisions. Hekker often describes herself as an
“endangered species” (390-391) and has researched the topic of housewifery and concluded
that she will soon be the last housewife in the country. She prides
herself on her housewife status even if someone is scolding her for it. This
shows a mother’s own opinion on herself and work status, regardless of what
other people say and think, she is still maintaining her job as a housewife.
Another example of the opinions of mothers is from Bennetts when she explains
that many women are angry because of what they have had to give up for the sake
of their children (397). This anger is channeled at other mothers due to their
own jealousy and resentment towards their children (Bennetts 398 par. 13).
Anger is way that mothers show how they feel about the judgments of others on
this topic. They are forced to give up their careers for children and sometimes
husbands which make them resent their own family and become angry with mothers
that have the best of both worlds.
Mother’s
should be content with what they do and give up for their children and be
optimistic about the situation. Anger is not the right way to deal with a
problem, especially directing it at someone else. Mothers acknowledge their
status and have accepted it, but angry mothers described by Bennetts are not
acknowledging the good things that come with being a housewife. Mothers
are faced with many hardships that force them to make decisions on their work
status. Hekker and Bennetts both have made valid points on what sways this
decision and what the effects may be. Despite what others think of a mother’s
status, the only influence on this kind of decision should be what is needed
and how you feel about it. Bennetts states “…stop venting their anger on each
other and redirect it to changing the institutions, policies and practices that
oppress us all” (398, par. 21). This shows that anger can be a motivator to
change the ways of society’s judgments and ways of viewing mothers. In the
quote, “Those responsibilities---and the sacrifices they entail---generate a
permanent state of simmering anger in all too many women,” it shows that women
encounter responsibilities whether they stay at home or work, which means they
must learn to cope with them, and sometimes that means getting angry (Bennetts
396, par. 4). Although mothers have been judged for their actions regarding work, they
are the only ones who really know what is in the best interest for themselves
and their family.
Everyone has a right to their own opinion, mothers are the only ones whose opinion and view on the situation really counts. Their family and self is the only people that will be directly affected by the decision to either stay at home or work. Therefore no one else’s opinion should matter or be considered in this predicament. Most women will take up for the side that they can most relate to however, others hold resentment towards those that they admire to be like. Acknowledging one’s own circumstances will help make it easier for a mother to execute what she has decided on and accept it as well.
Works
Cited
Bennetts, Leslie. “A Mother’s Day Kiss-Off.” Behrens
and Rosen 396-398.
Hekker, Terry Martin. “The Satisfactions of
Housewifery and Motherhood/Paradise Lost (Domestic Division).” Behrens and Rosen 390-392.
Behrens, Laurence, and Leonard J. Rosen, eds. Research &Composition in the Disciplines: 2nd
Custom Edition for the University of Texas at San Antonio. New York: Longman, 2011. Print.
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